There are times when you just want to burst in annoyance. You are not sure if you are annoyed with the person you had arguments with or if you are annoyed with yourself. Most of the time, it just blurs out. And for some, they win their way out of their relationships. It could be said that they won the battle but lost the war.
Why are there disagreements?
Simple. We always want to be right (even if we know we’re wrong.)
And because it’s so difficult for us to admit that we’re wrong, we want to hold our ground no matter what it takes, no matter how much it costs.
In most disagreements, we are unwilling to listen to what the other really thinks about the situation. Why? Because we want to be right. And we want to be right because we want to win. And when someone wins, someone has to lose. It doesn’t matter if it is about teams pitting out against each other, or just a couple in a heated argument. Those who want to win always want to be right.
Often, emotions take the seat. When we are so consumed by our emotions, it is easy to be angry; especially in disagreements where we want to be right. And being angry is the path of least resistance. It’s so easy to get angry. You will just let your emotions take control of your thoughts, your speech, your actions. You can even let anger blind you and allow yourself to do irrational things. Because that’s what anger does to a person. It takes away the person’s ability to do what is right.
“I want to win, that is why I want to be right.”
But winning in disagreements doesn’t always make things better. It shouldn’t be “I win, and you lose.” Instead, it should be “We win.” Because in most cases, relationships are more important than winning over conflicting opinions. And keeping the love in relationships is what matters.
So who wins?
The person who knows how to hold anger off.
He who is slow to anger is better and more honorable than the mighty [soldier],
And he who rules and controls his own spirit, than he who captures a city.
Proverbs 16:32 AMP
Holding off anger takes mastery of oneself. And that is nobler than being right but burnt bridges in the process.
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